Thursday, October 13, 2005

Fowl!

It's been a long day, and a late night. And now, here at last, is the opportunity to put my head down on the pillow, pull my weary body into bed, and sleep, perchance to dream. Ay, there's the rub.

It's barely daylight, still twilight when I'm awaken from my slumber by a quiet but distinct "cluck" under my bedroom window.

"No," I think. I keep my eyes shut tight. There it is again.

"Cluck."

"Oh, please, no," I plead.

Then a full blown, loud crowing and I'm now wide awake, and it's just past 5:30 am.

Having grown up on a farm, I've always had the desire to live in the country again and given the opportunity over three years ago I bought a pleasant, little home just north of Lafayette, Louisiana. It was country living inside the city limits of a small town with a population of just 1100 people. Bordering my backyard was a large field with an assortment of animals: horses, cows, sheep, goats, pigs...and more. I was delighted.

I had not counted on the free-range chickens that roamed the single street of my neighborhood. A person of the earth, I'd planned to garden and landscape. The chickens had other ideas. They sat in my fig tree, scratched in all my flower beds, pooped on my carport, pecked at my homegrown tomatoes, and yes, crowed under my windows many times early in the morning.

After a year of asking my neighbors nicely, then not so nicely, then asking the police to ask them, I finally filed a complaint for property damage and we went to court, a small country court. When the defendant was asked how he plead to the charge of property damage, he responded, in all seriousness, "Not guilty." (long pause) "It wasn't me." (pause) "It was the chickens."

I slapped my hand over my mouth to hide my reaction and to not bust out laughing. For the other folks who had been brought in on traffic citations, this was high entertainment, as it has been to most people I've talked to about the chickens.

The defendant was given a warning, and the free-range chicken population of two or three dozen in my neighborhood was reduced to zero. I was happy, went about gardening and put in grass seed with gusto.

You guess it. That lasted for a few months, new baby chickens were born, eventually came onto my property with their destructive ways, I asked the owner to take care of them, he did, all quiet for a couple of months, then the cycle repeats. I've ranted and raved, got a young cat who helped for about a year until she disappeared, considered selling my house, and complained to a lot of people about "the chicken problem."

Recently I met another comrade with similar chicken woes. We figured there must be others like us, living in small towns or in the country with recalcitrant neighbors who are not swayed by pleas to control their chickens, and no town ordinance that requires them to do so.

So we are forming a group. The Chicken Support Group, Citizens Chicken Coalition are a couple of proposed name. We invite you to post in this blog (the Chicken Chronicles?), sharing your stories, suggestions for effective ways to deal with similar chicken problems, or anything else that seems appropriate.

--Cat

2 Comments:

At 10/17/2005 5:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bock....

bock...

bock... BERGOCK!



Viva la poulet!! (chicken with Che Guevara T-Shirt raises wing)

Jivosnican Pisados

 
At 10/19/2005 5:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can certainly sympathize with Cat's chicken woes. I've been plaqued by those little feathered creatures for over 10 years now. At one time I had neighbors on both sides of me raising gaming roosters. The crowing begins before 5 am every morning. I've become accustomed to the crowing and that doesn't bother me too much anymore. What really irritates me is that those chickens think that my open carport and patio are their bathroom. You wouldn't believe the size of some of their droppings. I'm forever out there with my water hose cleaning up chicken poop.
My husband has approached the chicken owner about my problem with his chickens because "when moma's not happy, nobody's happy". The owner's solution was for us to shoot them because he couldn't keep them contained. I bought myself a BB gun thinking I would sit on the patio, maybe even disguised as a piece of paito furniture, and shoot the little critters. Not so easy... I read all the instructions, but just can't get the BBs to come out of the right end of the gun. I've pretty much given up on that idea. I just go out there screaming like a crazy person trying to shoo them away.
One day my 3 year old grandaughter came running in the house to tell me that there was a chicken in the yard. I said "I know, baby". She said, "but Granny, it's a big chicken". I said "yes, I know". She said "but Granny, it looks like Big Bird". I went out to see and it was an Emu. So chickens have not been my only unwelcomed visitors.
One day I got a call at work. My daughter-in-law had gone to my house to do some laundry and when she was ready to leave, there was a cow blocking the front door.
My mother was visiting from out of town one day last year and we were sitting out on the patio. We saw 2 dogs in the yard. My mom said "that short dog sure is fat." Once they got closer, we realized that one of the dogs was actually a "pot-bellied" pig.
I don't even own a dog (or a chicken). To say I don't like being around animals is an understatement.

If anyone out there has any suggestions, other than moving, please share. I would be proud to be a member of the Citizens Chicken Coalition (CCC).

Tante Poule

 

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